AI Pruned
**Item Description:** A Northern Mockingbird (//Mimus polyglottus//) that can imitate any human phrase spoken to it. However, it always repeats these phrases in German, regardless of what language they were initially spoken in.
**Date of Recovery:** 11-14-2016
**Location of Recovery:** Sunset Beach, North Carolina
**Current Status:** In a low-security animal containment unit at Site-65.

**Item Description:** A combat knife with a serrated blade and a wooden handle. Whenever the object is used with intent to harm, the blade will instantaneously disappear. Any person(s) "stabbed" with the bladeless knife are compelled to declare "I go the way of every man β€” my last light snuffed out.", and enter a death-like trance. After roughly four minutes, the victim will rise, with no recollection of the event.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-09-2016
**Location of Recovery:** Cambridge, England
**Current Status:** Secured in Site-78's non-sentient storage wing.
//Note: When we found this, Carter wouldn't stop stabbing me with it. Couldn't stop the bastard either. β€” Agent Iglesias from Recovery Team Ξ¨-13//

**Item Description:** A volcano-shaped cake that erupts every 30 days, expelling either luminescent red icing or 1500 Β°C lava. The cake has neither been damaged by the lava nor undergone expected staling or aging. The location of the liquids prior to eruption has not been accounted for.
**Date of Recovery:** 04-13-2007
**Location of Recovery:** A Pompeiian bakery.
**Current Status:** --Held in Site-17 Cafeteria cold-storage-- Went into dormancy after being exposed to continual cold-storage temperatures. Currently stored in a heated room in an attempt to 'revive' the item.

**Item Description:** A name tag with "Steve" written on the front. Upon placing the name tag on a person's chest, they will claim that their name has always been Steve.
**Date of Recovery:** 08-16-2016
**Location of Recovery:** Aspen, CO, United States
**Current Status:** In storage at Site-17.

**Item Description:** A chess set made from English oak. When the pieces are moved on the board, they generate specific sounds audible only to the players. Moving a piece creates sounds similar to clanging metal or galloping horses, while removing a piece from play generates sounds of punching or clashing metal. At the end of a game, a trumpet fanfare will play for three seconds.
**Date of Recovery:** 13-02-1992
**Location of Recovery:** King Alexander I Primary School, Serbia
**Current Status:** In the Area 53 break room.

**Item Description:** An apple tree whose fruit has been described as abnormally delicious. Any human who consumes a fruit from the tree will be propelled --south by southeast-- away from β–ˆβ–ˆΒ°β–ˆβ–ˆ'β–ˆβ–ˆ.β–ˆ"N β–ˆβ–ˆΒ°β–ˆβ–ˆ'β–ˆβ–ˆ.β–ˆ"E at 87 kph.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-08-2012
**Location of Recovery:** Mt. Ararat, Turkey
**Current Status:** Relocated to Site-27's arboretum.

**Item Description:** A wooden door, painted white. At exactly 11:30 PM local time, a knock is heard from whichever side is not being observed. If both sides are observed, knocks will emanate from both sides simultaneously.
**Date of Recovery:** 14-11-2015
**Location of Recovery:** London, Britain.
**Current Status:** In storage at Site-32.

**Item Description:** A standard kitchen sink. Humans over the age of 21, with at least one child under the age of 16, consistently perceive it as full of dirty dishes, regardless of its contents. Humans under the age of 18 see it as completely empty.
**Date of Recovery:** 14-11-2015
**Location of Recovery:** London, Britain
**Current Status:** In storage at Site-13.

**Item Description:** A photograph of a β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ. Despite there being no evidence of its existence, it will cause those who talk about it to insist upon its existence. Contents of the photograph are debated.
**Date of Recovery:** Unknown.
**Location of Recovery:** Unknown.
**Current Status:** Unknown; existence of object debated. Staff frequently report that the photo is hung in Researcher Adamo [[[SCP-3309 | Smalls]]]' office.

**Item Description:** A set of candy canes which cause any child who consumes one to be exceptionally nice for 30 days. Subsequent consumptions renew this period of niceness.
**Date of Recovery:** 12-01-2003.
**Location of Recovery:** A candy store in Santa Clara, California.
**Current Status:** In Site-19's cafeteria for snacks.
//I hope nobody minds, but I've been taking these home to my kids after work. They love them! β€” Agent Miller.//

**Item Description:** A steam iron. When used, clothing being ironed will emit a loud scream as long as direct contact with the iron is maintained.
**Date of Recovery:** 01-03-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Washington, England
**Current Status:** In Storage at Site-17.

**Item Description:** A [[image dog1.jpg size="thumbnail"]]. When directly described in any digital text format, the description will immediately be replaced with a JPEG image of [[image dog2.jpg size="thumbnail"]], varying in appearance and quality.
**Date of Recovery:** 19-01-2017
**Location of Recovery:** The house of the Morris family, Sunderland, England.
**Current Status:** Low-security animal containment unit at Site-17.
//Note: Her name is Elsie. β€” Dr. [[[SCP-2839 | Weppler]]]//

**Item Description:** A fluorescent, orange, plastic vuvuzela that, when played, renders the user invisible to the naked eye and cameras.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-06-2010
**Location of Recovery:** Johannesburg, South Africa
**Current Status:** --In Safe-level storage.-- --Missing.-- In storage.
//Notes: Don't be stupid. We might not see you, but we sure can hear you. β€” Site 17 Security//

[[tab Item Description]]
+++ __Item Description__

The corpse of James R. Seavey, a former filing assistant for the Foundation who was KIB on 06-07-2017. Any text about the corpse will be altered immediately after writing to be more organized, often to an inflated or unnecessary degree.
[[tab Date of Recovery]]
+++ __Date of Recovery__

||~ Category ||~ ID ||~ Notes ||
||~ Month || 06 || June ||
||~ Day || 07 || Wednesday ||
||~ Year || 2017 || //N/A// ||
[[tab Location of Recovery]]
+++ __Location of Recovery__

||~ Category ||~ ID ||
||~ Facility || Site-77 ||
||~ Department || Records and Informational Security Administration (RAISA) ||
||~ Wing || Tabulation and Documentation ||
||~ Room # || 101 ||

[[tab Current Status]]
+++ __Current Status__

# Object artificially preserved and kept in a standard KIB memorial at Site-02.
# Copies of documentation preserved in Type-C typographic storage.
# Amnestics (Class-A variety) administered to Seavey's living family and friends.

**Item Description:** A singular Western honey bee (//Apis mellifera//) that can remove the color from any substance or material through a process not dissimilar to nectar collection.
**Date of Recovery:** 01-13-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Knoxville, Tennessee
**Current Status:** --Kept at a low-security apian containment site.-- Body incinerated after death.

**Item Description:** A small wooden birdhouse, currently inhabited by three American robin chicks (//Turdus migratorius//). Any non-avian animal coming into contact with it is violently propelled into the stratosphere at a velocity of 3 km/s.
**Date Of Recovery:** 01-23-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Toronto, Canada
**Current Status:** In storage.
[[# jhtt]]
**Item Description:** A patch of skin formerly present on the left calf of an adult Caucasian male. A tattoo is present on the object that reads "Mr. Just Has The Tattoo, by [[[gamers-against-weed-hub | Gamers Against Weed]]]". This tattoo has resisted all attempts at removal. The skin was removed during a grafting procedure; the previous owner has assumed a completely new identity since the procedure and claims to have no memory of his time with the tattoo.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-02-2016
**Location of Recovery:** Richmond, Virginia
**Current Status:** In cryogenic storage.
//Note: The tattoo's previous owner possessed a list similar to other "Misters Against Weed". The document is included below. Additionally, while the tattoo was still present on its owner, the subject claimed to have no memory of receiving the tattoo and that it had been [ present since birth].//
[[collapsible show="Display Document" hide="Close Document"]]
> **Holy Heck!** You've just found yourself your very own **Mr. Just Has The Tattoo** by Gamers Against Weed! There isn't even a blurb for this one, it has that little substance. Who is Dr. Wondertainment?
> Collect them all and become Mr. Gamer!
> [[[scp-2586 | 01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer]]]
> [[[mr-normie | 02. Mr. Normie]]]
> [[[scp-3015 | 03. Mr. Bernie Sanders]]]
> [[[uiu-file-2016-004 | 04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop]]]
> [[[scp-3697 | 20. Mr. Sex Number]]]
> 21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues
> [[[scp-3024 | 22. Mr. Deadly Sins]]]
> [[[scp-2839 | 23. Mr. Original Character]]]
> 24. Mr. D.A.R.E.
> 25. Mr. Gentrification
> [[[scp-3090 | 26. Mr. Mad About Video Games]]]
> [[[scp-2842 | 27. Mr. Meme]]]
> [[[scp-3012 | 28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued)]]]
> 29. Mr. Destiny
> [[[scp-2476 | 30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail]]]
> 31. Ms. Zapatista
> [[[scp-285 |32. Mr. Hax]]]
> 33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo βœ”
> [[[scp-2562 | 34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text]]]
> 35. Mr. Finale

**Item Description:** A low-level memetic hazard which causes infected subjects to believe they possess "Level 6 clearance" and are capable of accessing every file in the Foundation database. The meme propagates via specific software malfunctions that can occur when querying a clearance ticket.
**Date of Recovery:** 01-27-2010
**Location of Recovery:** Site-551.
**Current Status:** //The malfunctions that are capable of spreading the meme have been fixed. A single terminal that still carries the malfunctions is kept at Site-49 for study. β€” Technical Researcher David [[[david-rosen-file | Rosen]]]//

**Item Description:** A sheet of white paper with the word "bimonthly" written on it in black marker. When viewed by two or more people, an argument will begin between the viewers as to whether the word means "twice a month" or "once every two months". This argument may escalate into violence without intervention. This effect persists even when subjects are told not to argue over the definition of the word.
**Date of Recovery:** 02-11-1994
**Location of Recovery:** Wicklow, Ireland
**Current Status:** Destroyed in a particularly heated debate between two senior researchers. Both have been reprimanded.

**Descriptive:** Penny-sized, green, circular. Anomalously causes immediate dying if non-descriptives or non-actives are used in describing.
**Recovered:** β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆ-20β–ˆβ–ˆ
**Currently:** Held securely. Termination requested.

**Item Description:** The skeleton of an unknown species of the clade //Dinosauria// that dates back 160 million years. The specimen appears to be bipedal, with two large three-meter feet on the end of 27-centimeter legs, and a seemingly randomly curved spine. The subject's front limbs have been replaced with apparatuses that function similarly to M1911 handguns, entirely constructed from bone. The limbs only shoot shards of bone in the shape of 9mm handgun bullets, and will not shoot if supplied with any other type of bullet.
**Date of Recovery:** 09-05-2008
**Location of Recovery:** Kansas, USA.
**Current Status:** In storage at Site-551's Archaeological Wing.

**Item Description:** A chemical toilet (colloquially known as a "Porta-potty") of unknown brand and origin. Carbon dating analysis of the materials used to construct the item reveals that the structure is approximately 165 million years old. Multiple instances of petrified feces belonging to unknown species of the clade //Dinosauria// are found within the item's holding tank.
**Date of Recovery:** 03-28-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Montana, USA.
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A standard sized β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand chocolate powder container. Interior dimensions do not correspond to exterior dimensions, extending one meter past top.
**Date of Recovery:** 02-15-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Wilmington, Delaware, United States
**Current Status:** In storage
//Notes: On recovery, object contained the amount of powder found in non-anomalous containers, twenty-seven American cents, three Euros, and a human thumb.//

**Item Description:** A wooden nutcracker in the shape of Joseph Stalin. It will only break nuts if someone who lived in former East Germany uses it.
**Date of Recovery:** 11-09-1989
**Location of Recovery:** Berlin, Germany
**Current Status:** In storage at Site-45.

**Item Description:** A standard-sized (92 x 57 x 203 mm) brick. One side of item (arbitrarily designated the top) constantly displays the 1951 British-American film //The African Queen//, in its entirety and on endless loop.
**Date of Recovery:** 04-27-2004
**Location of Recovery:** Cape Town, South Africa
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A strain of H3N2 influenza that causes dreams of stringed instruments in infected subjects. Dreams typically relate to the presence of microscopic instruments in the blood and lungs.
**Date of Recovery:** 11-03-1975
**Location of Recovery:** β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ.
**Current Status:** Endemic to the β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ region. Containment efforts are ongoing.

**Item Description:** A standard asthma inhaler containing a β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ-brand aluminium container. Upon inhaling the contents of the inhaler, the user's bronchioles seize up in a manner analogous to an asthma attack. These symptoms cease after approximately five minutes.
**Date of Recovery**: 06-13-2009
**Location of Recovery**: St. Josemaria Hospital, Sydney
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A VHS tape labeled "Jack Nicholson Wearing Less Than One Shirt". Subjects who view the contents of the tape become unable to perceive more than 50% of any object at a time unless applied amnestic treatment.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-02-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Cedar Springs, Colorado
**Current Status:** In a storage locker in Site-27.

**Item Description:** A fully functioning 1:100 scale replica of a Colnago Arabesque bicycle. Despite the object's size, it possesses the same velocity and acceleration capabilities as a regular Arabesque.
**Date of Recovery:** 02-28-2016
**Location of Recovery:** Nagano, Japan
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A standard NERF dart gun with lazer sight attachment that, when fired, acts as a regular nine-millimeter handgun. Fires Nerf darts at the same velocity as a regular nine-millimeter round and the same force and lethality as expected from a projectile of this speed.
**Date of Recovery:** 03/04/10
**Location of Recovery:** Evidence Locker in Sydney, Australia
**Current Status:** In Dr. Rhodes' office in case of emergency
//Note: Funniest. Death. Ever. β€” Dr. Rhodes in response to Incident 1456-A.//

**Item Description:** A bus stand that causes all buses with the stand at their destination to arrive 10 minutes later than scheduled, by causing a series of ostensibly unrelated accidents to delay the bus' arrival.
**Date of Recovery:** 05/09/16
**Location of Recovery:** Mascot, Sydney, Australia
**Current Status:** Transport to Site-19 delayed significantly; contained by ensuring all buses that use the stand arrive at 10-minute intervals.

**Item Description:** An olive-green metal cube that will turn into thermosetting plastic and melt unless referred to as "Olivia." If referred to as "Olivia", it will revert into a metal cube.
**Date of Recovery:** 06/01/1993
**Location of Recovery:** Alhambra, California, USA
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A standard, non-anomalous white deck chair. It is devoid of any anomalous properties other than its location of recovery.
**Date of Recovery:** N/A
**Location of Recovery:** The surface of Europa, the moon of Jupiter.
**Current Status:** Remains on the surface of Europa due to cost of extraction.

**Item Description:** A bottle that, no matter the contents, will always land on its head when flipped.
**Date of Recovery:** 09/12/2016
**Location of Recovery:** Westbrook High School vending machine.
**Current Status:** Used as a gimmick to impress new agents accepted into the Foundation.
//Notes: Can Dr. Malchozky please return the item to the front desk of Site-46? Professor Yang would like his turn now.//

**Item Description:** A severed human hand that provides good luck and fortune to anyone who possesses it.
**Date of Recovery:** 31/05/2017
**Location of Recovery:** Found in SCP-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ's chamber after D-class failed to properly follow containment procedures.
**Current Status:** In an airtight glass container in breakroom of Site-27 to remind personnel that containment procedures must be followed. Also believed to provide some sort of morale boost to anyone in the presence of the item.

**Item Description:** An otherwise unremarkable Bayliner Ciera Boat that attracts blood towards itself.
**Date of Recovery:** 02/24/2019
**Location of Recovery:** Guangxi, China.
**Current Status:** In Storage.

**Item Description:** A pair of macro-quantum entangled Jenga sets.
**Date of Recovery:** 03-15-2003
**Location of Recovery:** Newport, Wales
**Current Status:** In storage; Site 15 Breakroom, Site 17 Breakroom.

**Item Description:** A copy of Leonardo Da Vinci's //Mona Lisa//, painted by an unknown artist. When looked at, the eyes of the woman in the painting appear to stare at whoever is looking at it. Multiple people in the room report that each person appears to be stared at simultaneously.
**Date of Recovery:** 07-12-2017
**Location of Recovery:** A yard sale in Edison, New Jersey.
**Current Status:** Hanging on the wall in a hallway at Site-19 for aesthetic purposes.

**Item Description:** An indestructible β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand camera tripod. Human beings approaching this object develop an urge to physically assault the item until they are exhausted. Additionally, any electronic devices possessing speakers brought within five meters of the object will spontaneously begin to play Megadeth's "Tornado of Souls", regardless of whether or not the device is charged.
**Date of Recovery:** 5 May 2017
**Location of Recovery:** Ronny's Camera Shop, Flagstaff, Arizona.
**Current Status:** Kept for recreational purposes in Site-45.

**Item Description:** --A REALLY COOL ROCK! I MEAN THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME ROCKS I HAVE EVER SEEN! IN FACT IT IS THE COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!-- Item is a small rock that, when someone touches or picks it up, causes them to believe the rock to be the β€œcoolest” thing ever. This effect persists after the person stops touching it. Other than this, it seems to be a normal rock.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-09-2018
**Location of Recovery:** Was found by Dr. Anderson outside Site-24.

**Item Description:** An average USB flash drive that, when attempts are made to insert it into a computer, will always be inverted as to prevent itself from being plugged in.
**Date of Recovery:** 12-09-2016
**Location of Recovery:** Hillsborough County Library, Florida
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** The website, "whatwouldhappenifiwasshot.β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ". When accessed, it generates an accurate 3D model of the user, which can then be "shot" by clicking on any part of the body.
**Date of Recovery:** 07-01-2017
**Location of Recovery:** N/A. Discovered following a Reddit post on the "todayilearned" sub-forum.
**Current Status:** Domain blocked from all major internet service providers.

**Item Description:** A rubber ball, five centimeters in diameter, that slowly rolls toward the closest living human. Running it through a metal detector showed no signs of electronic parts.
**Date of Recovery:** 07-02-2017
**Location of Recovery:** The break room, rolling around the feet of annoyed personnel.
**Current Status:** In a small glass container, duct-taped to Dr. Rob's desk.

**Item Description:** A nuclear warhead that constantly plays dubstep. The songs are original to the warhead and played at 95 dB.
**Date of Recovery:** 05-24-2011
**Current Status:** Installed as Site-25 on-site nuclear safeguard.
//Note: Before containment, a number of songs produced were released online crediting "DJ Dirty Nuke" as their creator. We would like to speak with whoever is responsible for their release, but the songs themselves need no containment. β€” Dr. Wall//

**Item Description:** A standard dinner fork that when used will cause whatever it has been stabbed into to transform into medium-rare cooked steak.
**Date of Recovery:** 07/26/17
**Location of Recovery:** Tampa, Florida
**Current Status:** In a standard storage locker at Area-108.
//Notes: During a low-level containment breach, item was taken out of containment by an escaped Class-D and used on several agents. Class-D was terminated and item returned to storage.//

**Item Description:** Pots of paint, the pigment of which only visually stimulates the cone cells in the eye. This effect causes it to appear constantly dimly lit, and to become grey when viewed from any direction other than head-on. Further effects include headaches and eye-ache, after prolonged exposure.
**Date of Recovery:** 29/03/2017
**Location of Recovery:** Newcastle, England
**Current Status:** Research is underway on utilising this item as camouflage, and on synthesising larger amounts of the pigment. [[[SCP-294]]] to be used for this purpose when free. 
//Notes: Interesting, this one. Somehow, the effect also works when the pigment is viewed through a photo. I've no idea how. β€” Dr. Hagemeister//

**Item Description:** A CD with the song "Up in the Sky" by English rock band Oasis. When the line "before you start falling" plays, any objects not touching the ground in a six-meter circle around the source of the music will immediately fall to the ground at a speed of 5.4 m/s. This effect extends to the edge of Earth's atmosphere.
**Date of Recovery:** 07/06/2017
**Location of Recovery:** Creation Records warehouse, London, UK
**Current Status:** In storage, accessible if needed to recontain flying anomalies.

**Item Description:** An otherwise unknown subspecies of //Pinus pumila// (Siberian dwarf pine). The wood of this species functions as a superconductor, with a resistance of practically zero. 
**Date of Recovery:** 09-13-1992
**Location of Recovery:** [REDACTED], Siberia
**Current Status:** Due to the species' isolated location and low population, only minimal containment is necessary. Currently, Outpost-18 of Site-72 has been set up to monitor the only known population.

**Item Description:** An ornate vase, which, when observed, slightly corrupts any medium containing information about it (This effect extends to memory). Scale of corruption is proportional with duration of viewing.
**Date of Recovery:** 15/11/2000
**Location of Recovery:** Presently unidentified.
**Current Status:** Currently in storage, in an opaque box. 
//Notes: At least twenty copies of this text are to be kept at all times. On the off chance that the vase is viewed, we can piece together the entry from the fragments of each copy. β€” Dr. Hagemeister//

**Item Description:** A small wooden cup that fills with sulfuric acid if anyone within a two-meter radius states, "Phillip is coming over from Spain." The cup is not damaged by the substance.
**Date of Recovery:** 02-07-1982
**Location of Recovery:** Lisbon, Portugal
**Current Status:** In storage within Site 49.
//Notes: Following a series of incidents regarding our colleague Phillip's transfer from Spanish Site 47 and a significant amount of acid burns, of no one is to be allowed access to the wooden cup without explicit clearance from myself. β€” Dr. Eko//

[[module CSS]]
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  -moz-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1);
  -o-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1);
  -webkit-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1);
  transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1);
  transition: -ms-transform .6s ease 0s, -moz-transform .6s ease 0s, -o-transform .6s ease 0s, -webkit-transform .6s ease 0s, transform .6s ease 0s;
.femur:hover {
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  transform: scaleX(1) scaleY(1);

[[div class="femur"]]
**Item Description:** A humanoid femur bone that renders all descriptions of it upside-down. Effect extends to human speech.
**Date of Recovery:** Undetermined; assumed grandfathered-in from predecessor organization.
**Location of Recovery:** Undetermined.
**Current Status:** In storage. Electronic documentation is accompanied by an [[[AIAD Homescreen | AIC unit]]] which will restate affected descriptions and thereby reverse the item's effect.
//Notes: Efforts to identify how or why the item arrived in Foundation containment have been hindered by a lack of substantial documentation β€” most likely due to the absence of artificial general intelligence technology in Foundation predecessors. Current hypothesis is that the object predates human recordkeeping.//
[[div style="-ms-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1); -moz-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1); -o-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1); -webkit-transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1); transform: scaleX(-1) scaleY(-1); text-align: center; font-weight: bold; font-size: 105%"]]
HOVER to engage automated recalibration.

**Item Description:** A slab of concrete engraved with the words: "Please step here on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ to prevent the apocalypse". The item itself currently possesses higher-than-average [[[and-this-one-explains-humes | Hume reading]]] but has no apparent effects on reality.
**Date of Recovery:** 03/05/2005
**Location of recovery:** Taken from a sidewalk in Lubbock, Texas.
**Current Status:** In storage. Plans for testing of the item on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ have been approved.

**Item Description:** A Carl Thompson Rainbow Bass. When any song of the band Primus is played, a voice is heard saying "Primus Sucks!". This effect is present regardless of whether the song was played perfectly or incomplete.
**Date of Recovery:** 05/02/2006
**Location of Recovery:** A music store in Washington D.C.
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A large bathroom mirror. Anyone who looks into the mirror has a strong urge to have a staring contest with their reflection. This urge subsides once the individual blinks.
**Date of Recovery:** 09/09/2017
**Location of Recovery:** A pawn shop in Dallas, Texas.
**Current Status:** In storage.
//Notes: A cloth should be kept over the mirror to prevent the anomalous property.//

**Informazioni Sull'oggetto:** Una ciotola di spaghetti che quando hanno visto modifiche tutte le informazioni digitate o scritto su di esso in Italiano mal formulata.
**Giorno di ottenere tale oggetto:** 03/01/2017
**Piastra di recupero:** Guam, Americani Uniti Territory.
**Corrente:** Mangiato.

**Item Description:** Thirteen Russian Matryoshka dolls that all mutually fit inside of each other.
**Date of Recovery:** 02/10/1923
**Location of Recovery:** 13 kilometers Northeast of Moscow, Russia.
**Current Status:** Two were shattered by a reckless researcher (Reprimanded. Remains show no anomalous properties.), 11 on display in Site-13's Anomalous Items wing.

**Item Description:** A blue backpack. When this backpack comes into contact with a human, its weight increases by approx. 379.5 kilograms. The backpack is currently 6002.18 kg.
**Date of Recovery:** 18/06/2017
**Location of Recovery:** A community elementary school in Gale, Ohio.
**Current Status:** In process of being transported to Site-325.
//Notes: By god, the recovery team still hasn't gotten it to the site. They've been hauling that thing from Gale to here for the past year now. Turns out automated contact still counts. β€” Junior Researcher Days//

**Item Description:** An audio file named Bells.mp3. It plays a random song on bells each time it is opened. Upon listening to the audio clip in its entirety, the viewer will hear that exact song heard in the clip every time a bell rings within the area it is audible to the subject. This only affects the viewer and lasts for an indefinite amount of time unless an amnesiac is administered or the subject is rendered deaf.
**Date of Recovery:** 04/03/2016
**Location of Recovery:** Recovered from a laptop in London, England.
**Current Status:** Stored on a computer at Site-7.

**Item Description:** A soda can. Analysis indicates that the ratio of the circumference of its bases to the diameter of its bases (Otherwise known as the value of Pi) is roughly equal to 4.282983.
**Date of Recovery:** 2017-09-19
**Location of Recovery:** Nishinomiya, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan
**Current Status:** In storage.

**Item Description:** A VHS tape with a recording of the music video for "Once in a Lifetime" by the band Talking Heads. The segment with the repeated line "//Same as it ever was//" continues from timecode 1:57 for two hours of non-repeating footage, with David Byrne repeating the line and looking increasingly distraught as hands grip his head.
**Date of Recovery:** 17-03-1980
**Location of Recovery:** Chicago, IL
**Current Status:** General media storage.
//Notes: Crew who worked on the original filming were interviewed. They all agree that no extra footage of this segment was shot.//
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