Collab Pruning

Red= Entire entry deleted
Blue = Addition to it
Slash out = A small bit of an entry removed
Green = Redaction removed, replaced with what you see

Topmost part handled by Nagiros.

Item Description: A Northern Mockingbird (Mimus polyglottus) that can imitate any human phrase spoken to it. However, it always repeats these phrases in German, regardless of what language they were initially spoken in.
Date of Recovery: 11-14-2016
Location of Recovery: Sunset Beach, North Carolina
Current Status: In a low-security animal containment unit at Site-65.

Item Description: A combat knife with a serrated blade and a wooden handle. Whenever this knife the object is used with intention of intent to harm, the knife blade will disappear through unknown means instantaneously disappear. When in this anomalous state Any person(s) "stabbed" with the bladeless knife will instantaneously and unavoidably whisper the phrase "I'm dead" and lie down are compelled to declare "I go the way of every man β€” my last light snuffed out.", and enter a death-like trance. After about roughly four minutes, the victim will reawaken unharmed rise, with no recollection of the event.
Date of Recovery: 05-09-2016
Location of Recovery: Cambridge, England
Current Status: Secured in Site-78's non-sentient storage wing.
Note: When we found this, Carter wouldn't stop stabbing me with it. Couldn't stop the bastard either. β€” Agent Iglesias from Recovery Team Ξ¨-13

Item Description: An empty USB flash drive. Describing the object in question on any electronic program will cause each word in the document to redirect to a seemingly random YouTube video. If the name of an existing YouTube user is mentioned within the document, it will link to one of their videos (Example: "PewDiePie").
Date of Recovery: 19-06-2002
Location of Recovery: Connected to the computer of Foundation containment specialist β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ.
Current status: [REDACTED].

Deleting for rickroll, reliance on hotlinks, and the fact that readers keep spamming these videos with comments.

Item Description: A volcano-shaped cake that erupts approximately every 30 days with either red, luminescent icing or 1500 degrees centigrade lava, expelling either luminescent red icing or 1500 Β°C lava. The cake is both immune to this lava and doesn't go stale. The cake has neither been damaged by the lava nor undergone expected staling or aging. The item has no place to store either of the liquids it erupts. The location of the liquids prior to eruption has not been accounted for.
Date of Recovery: 04-13-2007
Location of Recovery: A Pompeiian bakery.
Current Status: Held in Site-17 Cafeteria cold-storage Went into dormancy after being exposed to continual cold-storage temperatures. Currently stored in a heated room in an attempt to 'revive' the item.

Item Description: A Heckler & Koch HK416 D10RS carbine. When the fire selector is set to a setting other than "Safe", any lifeform who comes in contact with the weapon will spontaneously hear the song "Shoot to Thrill" by the band AC/DC playing on a loop for as long as they remain in contact.
Date of Recovery: 04-11-2016
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ gun show, Texas, United States
Current Status: In storage at Site-19. Available at request for firing range usage.

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A name tag with the name "Steve" written on the front. Upon placing the name tag on a person's chest, the person they will claim that their name has always been Steve.
Date of Recovery: 08-16-2016
Location of Recovery: Aspen, CO, United States
Current Status: In storage at Site-17.

Item Description: An Armenian style crucifix that emits high pitched squeals by unknown means when exposed to poultry products.
Date of Recovery: 04-17-19β–ˆβ–ˆ
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Armenia
Current Status: In a safe located at Site-19.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A chess set made from English oak. When the pieces are moved on the board, they generate specific sounds audible only to the players. Moving a piece creates sounds similar to clanging metal or galloping horses, while removing a piece from play generates sounds of punching or clashing metal. At the end of a game, a trumpet fanfare will play for three seconds.
Date of Recovery: 13-02-1992
Location of Recovery: King Alexander I Primary School, Serbia
Current Status: In the Area 53 break room.

Item Description: An apple tree whose fruit has been described as abnormally delicious. Any human who consumes a fruit from the tree will be propelled south by southeast away from β–ˆβ–ˆΒ°β–ˆβ–ˆ'β–ˆβ–ˆ.β–ˆ"N β–ˆβ–ˆΒ°β–ˆβ–ˆ'β–ˆβ–ˆ.β–ˆ"E at 87 kph.
Date of Recovery: 05-08-2012
Location of Recovery: Mt. Ararat, Turkey
Current Status: Relocated to Site-27's arboretum.

Item Description: A wooden door, painted white. At exactly 11:30 PM local time, a knock is heard from the side not being observed whichever side is not being observed. If both sides are observed, knocks will emanate from both sides simultaneously.
Date of Recovery: 14-11-2015
Location of Recovery: London, Britain.
Current Status: In storage at Site-32.

Item Description: A standard kitchen sink. Humans over the age of 21, with at least one child under the age of 16, consistently sees perceive it as full of dirty dishes, regardless of its current state contents. Humans under the age of 18 see it as completely empty, again regardless of current state.
Date of Recovery: 14-11-2015
Location of Recovery: London, Britain
Current Status: In storage at Site-13.

Item Description: A candle that never melts while lit. Instead of melting, the candle randomly changes its scent every 5 minutes.
Date of Recovery: 12-01-2016
Location of Recovery: Alaska.
Current Status: In storage for use as a holiday meal centerpiece.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A photograph of a β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ. In spite of no evidence for its existence being present Despite there being no evidence of its existence, it will cause those who talk about it to insist upon its existence. Contents of the photograph are debated.
Date of Recovery: Unknown.
Location of Recovery: Unknown.
Current Status: Unknown; existence of object debated. Staff frequently report that the photo is hung in Researcher Adamo Smalls' office.

Item Description: A set of candy canes which regenerate when consumed and cause any kid child who consumes one to be exceptionally nice for 30 days. Subsequent consumptions renew this period of niceness.
Date of Recovery: 12-01-2003.
Location of Recovery: A candy store in Santa Clara, California.
Current Status: In Site-19's cafeteria for snacks.
If we could take our kids to work, they would enjoy these. I hope nobody minds, but I've been taking these home to my kids after work. They love them! β€” Agent Miller.

Item Description: A collection of 20 space themed "bath bombs." Subjects that are submerged in water affected by the bath bombs claim to be on a "mission to save Earth from the evil space alien Zargop".
Date of Recovery: 11-16-2016
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], USA
Current Status: In Storage Site-156. Chemical testing begins on β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A steam iron. When used, clothing being ironed will emit a loud scream as long as direct contact with the iron is kept maintained.
Date of Recovery: 01-03-2017
Location of Recovery: Washington, England
Current Status: In Storage at Site-17.

Item Description: A dog1.jpg. When directly described in any digital text format, the description will immediately be replaced with a JPEG image of dog2.jpg, varying in appearance and quality.
Date of Recovery: 19-01-2017
Location of Recovery: The house of the Morris family, Sunderland, England.
Current Status: Low-security animal containment unit at Site-17.
Note: Her name is Elsie. β€” Dr. Weppler

Item Description: A pair of dumbbells with no label telling the exact weight. When used, users will report that it is the perfect weight for physical exercise.
Date of Recovery: 07-13-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
Location of Recovery: Anytime Fitness Center, Madison, Wisconsin.
Current Status: In Site-15's break room.

Deleted for just being a useful magic item.

Item Description: A fluorescent, orange, plastic vuvuzela that, when played, renders the user invisible to the naked eye and cameras.
Date of Recovery: 05-06-2010
Location of Recovery: Johannesburg, South Africa
Current Status: In Safe-level storage. Missing. In storage.
Notes: Don't be stupid. We might not see you, but we sure can hear you. β€” Site 17 Security

Item Description

The corpse of James R. Seavey, a former filing assistant for the Foundation who was KIB on 06-07-2017. Any text about the corpse will be altered immediately after writing to be more organized, often to an inflated or unnecessary degree.

Item Description: A bag of β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand chocolate morsels. Eating more than one piece at a time results in the chocolate tasting strongly of human fecal matter.
Date of Recovery: 07-02-2013
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ Bakery in Allentown, New York
Current status: In Site-53 cold storage.

Deleted for gross-out nonsense.

Item Description: An oven that "bakes" people
Date of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ School of β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
Current Status: Site-19, being used as a replacement for SCP-420-J
Notes: This is the best β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ in the world, man -Dr β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for lol 420.

Item Description: A female specimen of Gallus gallus domesticus, the domesticated hen. Eggs produced by it do not contain yolk or amniotic fluids, but are instead filled with random, common cooking ingredients such as milk, flour, and chocolate. Immediately after oviposition, and if not prevented from doing so, the item will breach the shell with its beak and consume the contents of the egg(s).
Date of Recovery: 01-07-2017
Location of Recovery: Thornton, Colorado.
Current Status: Contained in the aviary of Site-24.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A singular Apis (Honey bee) Western honey bee (Apis mellifera) that can remove the color from any substance or material through a process not dissimilar to nectar collection.
Date of Recovery: 01-13-2017
Location of Recovery: Knoxville, Tennessee
Current Status: Kept in low-security animal containment site. Kept at a low-security apian containment site. Body incinerated after death.

Item Description: A living Yoshi doll made of knitted yarn.
Date of Recovery: 01-10-2017
Location of Recovery: The house of the β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ family.
Current Status: Pending use.
"It's the cutest thing ever! Why would we take it away from them?" - Dr. Betancourt

Deleted for not adding anything/unoriginality.

Item Description: A heart-shaped Valentine's Day card that appears to throb like a real human heart. Anyone who watches it gets a better understanding of the concept of love.
Date of Recovery: 02-14-2010
Location of Recovery: A house in Seattle, Washington.
Current Status: In storage.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A headpiece accessory for a costume resembling a set of bull horns. When worn, the subject feels unreasonably furious against red objects and tries to charge into them.
Date of Recovery: 06-05-199β–ˆ
Location of Recovery: A costume shop in β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Spain.
Current Status: In storage. Investigating if it is actually a piece of a bigger costume.
Note: Why the shit have we got red walls?! Seriously! - Agent β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A 17x17x20 cm small wooden birdhouse, currently inhabited by three American robin chicks (Turdus migratorius). Any non-avian animal coming into contact with it is immediately launched violently propelled into the stratosphere at a velocity of 3 km/s.
Date Of Recovery: 01-23-2017
Location of Recovery: Toronto, Canada
Current Status: Incinerated. In storage.

Item Description: The ashes of the the previous AO. Presumably, any non-avian animal coming into contact with it is immediately launched into the ground at a velocity of 3 km/s.
Date Of Recovery: 01-27-2017
Location of Recovery: Canadian Outpost-03
Current Status: Dispersed and neutralized on impact.
Note: Significant structural damage to Candian Outpost-03 has been sustained. Researchers Barrow, Smithson (the handler), and Zurrey expired. Cover story of a military ordnance failure disseminated.

Deleted for lolFoundation decommission going wrong.

Item Description: An empty bottle of β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand soda that will cause any liquid poured out of it to instantly relocate to the users stomach. Liquids pass through the users digestive system non-anomalously.
Date of Recovery: 03-10-2015
Location of Recovery: Soda Factory in Waco, Texas
Current Status: In the cupboard of Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ's office at Site-44.
Note: You can't even taste the soda you're trying to drink. You're getting all of the sugar and none of the flavor. Talk about a lose-lose. -Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A patch of skin formerly present on the left calf of an adult Caucasian male. A tattoo is present on the object that reads "Mr. Just Has The Tattoo, by Gamers Against Weed". This tattoo has resisted all attempts at removal. Skin The skin was removed during a grafting procedure. Previous; the previous owner has assumed a completely new identity since the procedure and claims to have no memory of his time with the tattoo.
Date of Recovery: 05-02-2016
Location of Recovery: Richmond, Virginia
Current Status: In cryogenic storage.
Note: The tattoo's previous owner possessed a list similar to other "Misters Against Weed". The document is included below. Additionally, while the tattoo was still present on its owner, the subject claimed to have no memory of receiving the tattoo and that it had been present since birth.

Item Description: Cool.
Date of Recovery: 09-02-2017
Location of Recovery: Retrieved during a raid on a known anartist exhibition in Sydney, Australia.
Current Status: Not.

Item Description: Two physically non-anomalous humans Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan. Any content uploaded by either of them onto the internet will immediately receive approximately 200-300 of what the platform's way of sharing or enjoying something is, such as "likes" on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube. This will occur despite the page they uploaded not being viewed by anything.
Date of Recovery: 05-26-2015
Location of Recovery: Twitter; the anomaly was discovered by Web crawler XIO-177 and was automatically marked as an anomaly.
Current Status: Currently hosting several popular internet web-series. No online comments regarding the anomaly have been noted since discovery.

Deleted for being incoherent/just an online personality.

Item Description: A low-level cognitohazard memetic hazard which causes infected personnel subjects to believe they have possess "Level 6 clearance" and are capable of accessing every file in the Foundation database. The cognitohazard is spread through meme propagates via specific software malfunctions that can occur within the database when querying a clearance ticket.
Date of Recovery: 01-27-2010
Location of Recovery: Site-551.
Current Status: The malfunctions that are capable of spreading the cognitohazard have been fixed. A single terminal that still carries the malfunctions is kept at Site-49 for study.

The malfunctions that are capable of spreading the meme have been fixed. A single terminal that still carries the malfunctions is kept at Site-49 for study. β€” Technical Researcher David Rosen

Item Description: An unmarked white cotton glove which has a uniform colour gradient across its entire surface, is completely devoid of any shadows, and has a large, black outline across its edge regardless of viewing angle. These effects lead to it appearing to have a "cartoon" style.
Date of recovery: 07-11-14
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Florida
Current Status: In the office of Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ.

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A sheet of white paper with the word "bimonthly" written on it in black marker. When viewed by two or more people, an argument will begin between the viewers as to whether the word means "twice a month" or "once every two months". This argument may escalate into violence without intervention. This effect persists even when subjects are told not to argue over the definition of the word.
Date of Recovery: 02-11-1994
Location of Recovery: Wicklow, Ireland
Current Status: Destroyed in a particularly heated debate between two senior researchers. Both have been reprimanded.

Item Description: A visual cognitohazard affecting approximately 20% of sapient viewers. Object compels the viewer to seek and consume the nearest unopened slice of American cheese.
Date of Recovery: 03-18-2013
Location of Recovery: Sydney, Austrailia
Current Status: In storage. Cheese kept on-site in the event of accidental exposure.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A 335 ml glass cup that causes waitstaff of any location to compulsively fill it to the brim.
Date of Recovery:3-29-2016
location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Atlanta, Georgia
Current Status: Broken after staff in kitchen raced to fill it up.
Notes: Remnants reformed into bowl on orders of Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, effects remain.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Descriptive: Penny-sized, green, circular. Anomalously causes immediate dying if non-descriptives or non-actives are used in describing.
Recovered: β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆ-20β–ˆβ–ˆ
Currently: Held securely. Termination requested.

Item Description: A β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand Go-Kart that leaves footprints instead of tire tracks. Radio will only play the sound of an unidentified male weeping.
Date of Recovery: 09-03-2013
Location of Recovery: A recently abandoned warehouse in β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, England
Current Status: Held in Site-β–ˆβ–ˆ's low-value vehicle garage.

Deleted for not doing what it set out to do.

Item Description: A metronome. When turned on by an individual, said individual will sway to the pendulum until it stops. Individuals who do so are unable to recall swaying to the metronome.
Date of Recovery: 09-29-1985
Location of Recovery: Venice, Italy
Current Status: In high value low-value storage of Site-β–ˆ.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: The skeleton of an unknown species of the clade Dinosauria that dates back 160 million years. The specimen appears to be bipedal, with two large three meter feet on the end of 27-centimeter legs, and a seemingly randomly curved spine. The subject's front limbs have been replaced with apparatuses that function similarly to M1911 handguns, entirely constructed from bone. The limbs only shoot shards of bone in the shape of 9mm handgun bullets, and will not shoot if supplied with any other type of bullet.
Date of Recovery: 9-5-2008
Location of Recovery: An undisclosed dig site in Kansas, USA.
Current Status: In storage at Site-551's Archaeological Wing.

Item Description: A self-refilling 3.8 liter "gallon jug" of milk, which if ingested causes the subject to vomit cheese after a period of 3 to 6 hours.
Date of Recovery: 4/30/1986
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ County Fair, Alabama, USA
Current Status: In refrigerated storage at Site-β–ˆβ–ˆ

Removed for gross-out nonsense.

Item Description: An unknown brand chemical toilet A chemical toilet (colloquially known as a "Porta-potty") of unknown brand and origin. Analysis Carbon dating analysis of the materials used to construct the item reveals that the structure is approximately 165 million years old. Multiple instances of petrified feces belonging to unknown species of the clade Dinosauria are found within the item's holding tank.
Date of Recovery: 03-28-2017
Location of Recovery: An undisclosed city in Montana, USA.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A bearded dragon that produces a miniature representation of the Aurora Borealis.
Date of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆ-2002
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Colorado
Current Status: In animal containment.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: Printer ink cartridge that spontaneously extrudes seawater.
Date of Recovery: 02/24/17
Location of Recovery: Site-β–ˆβ–ˆ, Dr. Chris "Ox" Moran's Printer
Current Status: In permanent storage.

Deleted for not adding anything, not sure why Technical Issues is linked.

Item Description: A plastic toy magician's wand. When held by a human and moved at a speed greater than 5 m/s in any direction, item will emit green sparks from whichever end is not being held.
Date of Recovery: 11-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Bradford, England, United Kingdom
Current Status: In storage

Deleted for being a literal magic item.

Item Description: A standard sized β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand chocolate powder container. Interior dimensions do not correspond to exterior dimensions, extending one meter past top.
Date of Recovery: 02-15-2017
Location of Recovery: Wilmington, Delaware, United States
Current Status: In storage
Notes: On recovery, object contained the amount of powder found in non-anomalous containers, twenty-seven American cents, three Euros, and a human thumb.

Item Description: A generic pink "piggy bank" containing an endless amount of United States Quarter-Dollars.
Location of Recovery: Fairbanks, Alaska
Date of Recovery::1/22/12
Current Status: In Storage
Notice: Any Staff caught using this device to further their wealth will be severely reprimanded. -Dr. Garbers

Deleted for being a magic item, lolFoundation note at the end.

Item Description: A grapefruit weighing -100 kilograms.
Date of Recovery: 4/10/2017.
Location of Recovery: A supermarket in Baltimore, MD.
Current Status: Consumed by Agent Joseph. Agent reprimanded.
I lost weight after eating that thing! -Agent Joseph.

Deleted for incoherence, unoriginality.

Item Description: A young Guatemalan female between the ages of β–ˆ and β–ˆβ–ˆ that has the lower body of a Thomson's gazelle.
Date of Recovery: 10-12-2001
Location of Recovery: CobΓ‘n, Guatemala
Current Status: Humanely terminated upon request.

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A piece of tape that repels any surface the "sticky" side approaches during attempted use.
Date of Recovery: 03-02-2005
Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, Utah
Current Status: In storage.

Deleted for being a magic item.

Item Description: A wooden nutcracker in the shape of Joseph Stalin. It will only break nuts if someone who lived in the former East Germany uses it.
Date of Recovery: 11-9-1989
Location of Recovery: Berlin, Germany
Current Status: In storage at Site-45.

Item Description: A standard-sized (92 x 57 x 203 mm) brick. One side of item (arbitrarily designated the top) constantly displays the 1951 British-American film The African Queen, in its entirety and on endless loop.
Date of Recovery: 4-27-2004
Location of Recovery: Cape Town, South Africa
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A strain of H3N2 influenza that causes dreams of stringed instruments in infected subjects. Dreams typically relate to the presence of microscopic instruments in the blood and lungs.
Date of Recovery: 11-03-1975
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ.
Current Status: Endemic to the β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ region. Containment efforts are ongoing.

Item Description: A navy blue β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ-brand hoody. When used to clean the lenses of glasses, monocles, or other eyewear, the item removes approximately 99.9% of noticeable smudges, scratches, and microbial life. Subjects who use the item report their eyewear as being "crystal clear" immediately following use.
Date of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆ-2017
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Virginia
Current Status: Hung on a coat rack in the break room of Site-β–ˆβ–ˆ for general use.

Deleted for being a magic item.

Item Description: A standard asthma inhaler containing a β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ-brand aluminium container. Upon inhaling the contents of the inhaler, the user's bronchioles seize up in a manner analogous to an asthma attack. These symptoms cease after approximately 5 minutes.
Date of Recovery: 06-13-2009
Location of Recovery: St. Josemaria Hospital, Sydney
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A VHS tape labeled "Jack Nicholson Wearing Less Than One Shirt". Subjects who view the contents of the tape become unable to perceive more than 50% of any object at a time unless applied amnestic treatment.
Date of Recovery: 05-02-2017
Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado
Current Status: In a storage locker in Site-27.

Item Description: A fully functioning 1:100 scale replica of a Colnago Arabesque bicycle. Despite the object's size, it possesses the same velocity and acceleration capabilities as a regular Arabesque.
Date of Recovery: 02-28-2016
Location of Recovery: Nagano, Japan
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard NERF dart gun with lazer sight attachment that, when fired, acts as a regular 9 millimeter handgun. Fires Nerf darts at the same velocity as a regular 9 millimeter round and the same force and lethality as expected from a projectile of this speed.
Date of Recovery: 03/04/10
Location of Recovery: Evidence Locker in Sydney, Australia
Current Status: In Dr Rhodes office in case of emergency
Note: Funniest. Death. Ever. β€” Dr Rhodes in light of response to Incident 1456-A.

Item Description: A bus stand located that causes all buses with the stand at their destination to arrive 10 minutes later than scheduled, by causing a series of apparently ostensibly unrelated accidents to delay the bus' arrival.
Date of Recovery: 05/09/16
Location of Recovery: Mascot, Sydney, Australia
Current Status: Transport to Site-19 delayed significantly; contained by ensuring all buses that use the stand arrive at 10-minute intervals.

Item Description: An olive-green metal cube that will turn into thermosetting plastic and melt unless referred to as "Olivia." If referred to as "Olivia", it will revert back into a metal cube.
Date of Recovery: 06/01/1993
Location of Recovery: Alhambra, California, USA
Current Status: In storage.
Note: The plastic is thermosetting plastic.

Item Description: A standard, non-anomalous white deck chair. It is devoid of any anomalous properties other than its location of recovery.
Date of Recovery: N/A
Location of Recovery: The surface of Europa, the moon of Jupiter.
Current Status: Remains on the surface of Europa due to cost of extraction.

Item Description: A pair of glasses. When worn, the user will notice objects or persons within eyesight will appear or disappear.
Date of Recovery: 5/9/2014
Location of Recovery: Columbia, South Carolina.
Current Status: Storage Room on Site 18.

Deleted for magic item, unoriginality.

Item Description: A statue of Cupid that, when touched, will render the subject fertile.
Date of Recovery: 2/14/β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
Current Status: Storage Room on Site β–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for magic item.

Item Description: A plastic trash can that sprays water whenever placed near extreme heat or fire.
Date of Recovery: 3/2/2017.
Location of Recovery: Baltimore, MD.
Current Status: In storage.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A bottle that, no matter the contents, when flipped will always land on its head when flipped.
Date of Recovery: 9/12/2016
Location of Recovery: Westbrook High School vending machine.
Current Status: Used as a gimmick to impress new agents accepted into the Foundation.
Notes: Can Dr. Malchozky please return the item to the front desk of Site-46? Professor Yang would like his turn now.

Item Description: A severed human hand that provides good luck and fortune to anyone who possesses it.
Date of Recovery: 31/5/2017
Location of Recovery: Found in SCP-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ's chamber after D-class failed to properly follow containment procedures.
Current Status: In an air tight glass container in break room of Site-27 to remind personnel that containment procedures must be followed. Also believed to provide some sort of morale boost to anyone in the presence of the item.

Item Description: A .55 calibre bullet with the date of manufacture as 8/2/1898. The bullet was carbon dated back to 1898 being the only of it's kind created back then. The bullet can be fired an innumerous amount of times.
Date of Recovery: 12/8/2017
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, China.
Current Status: Used in target practise against heavily armoured targets.

Deleted for magic item.

Item Description: A white glass plate seven inches in diameter where anything eaten from it is given a strong taste of salt, even if it did not contain any.
Date of Recovery: 7/3/2009
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, France.
Current Status: In Storage.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: An otherwise unremarkable Bayliner Ciera Boat that attracts blood towards itself.
Date of Recovery: 2/24/2019
Location of Recovery: Guangxi, China.
Current Status: In Storage.

Item Description: A pair of macro-quantum entangled Jenga sets.
Date of Recovery: 03-15-2003
Location of Recovery: Newport, Wales
Current Status: In storage; Site 15 Breakroom, Site 17 Breakroom.

Item Description: A copy of Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, painted by an unknown artist. When looked at, the eyes of the woman in the painting appear to stare at whoever is looking at it. Multiple people in the room report that each person appears to be stared at simultaneously.
Date of Recovery: 07-12-2017
Location of Recovery: A yard sale in Edison, New Jersey.
Current Status: Hanging on the wall in a hallway at Site-19 for aesthetic purposes.

Item Description: A 3-year old female golden retriever dog, named Peachy, that meows and purrs like a cat instead of barking. Has 7 toes on each paw instead of the usual 4.
Date of Recovery: 2-28-2017
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ Animal Shelter, β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Texas
Current Status: Site-19 psychiatric office, currently owned by Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ as a therapy dog for her patients.

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A Chinese-made AMR-2 anti-material rifle. When fired while loaded with ammunition, a red flag with the word "BANG" in uppercase letters will eject from the barrel. One round in the magazine will disappear after each "shot". "BANG" will always be written in the first language of the person who fired the shot.
Date of Recovery: β–ˆ-β–ˆ-2017
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, China
Current Status: Site-19, in storage; available for personnel to use at the Site-19 firing range upon request.

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A piece of paper that show stylized logo of various GoI in purple ink, logo and style changing every three months.
Date of Recovery: 12/30/2016
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Current Status: Framed in Site-88 hallway.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: An indestructible β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ brand camera tripod. Human beings approaching this object develop an urge to physically assault the item until they are exhausted. Additionally, any electronic devices possessing speakers brought within 5 meters of the object will spontaneously begin to play Megadeth's "Tornado of Souls" at β–ˆβ–ˆdB, regardless of whether or not the device is charged.
Date of Recovery: 5 May 2017
Location of Recovery: Ronny's Camera Shop, Flagstaff, Arizona.
Current Status: Kept for recreational purposes in Site-45.

Item Description: An elevator cab. Any acceleration the cab experiences is directly applied to all contents of the cab; this acceleration is thus undetectable from the cab's interior.
Date of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆ-β–ˆβ–ˆ-20β–ˆβ–ˆ
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Beijing.
Current Status: Under study at Site-β–ˆβ–ˆ.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A REALLY COOL ROCK! I MEAN THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME ROCKS I HAVE EVER SEEN! IN FACT IT IS THE COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! Item is in fact a small rock that, when someone touches or picks it up, believes causes them to believe the rock to be the β€œcoolest” thing ever. This is still in effect persists after the person stops touching it. Other than this, it seems to be a normal rock.
Date of Recovery: 05-09-2018
Location of Recovery: Was found by Dr. Anderson while studying SCP-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, after some study it was found to not be connected to SCP-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ outside Site-24.

Item Description: A number of common handkerchiefs which, when placed inside one's trousers' pocket will rid the subject of cold, flu, and symptoms of rhinitis.
Date of Recovery: 19-05-1996
Location of Recovery: Was found in Tavor, Czech Republic, after half of the town recovered from the early onsets of an outbreak of pneumonia.
Current Status: Conserved in a locker at Site-β–ˆβ–ˆ, since extended medical research has been deemed not cost-effective for the Foundation.

Deleted for magic item.

Item Description: A case for an β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ model phone. When applied to the phone of the appropriate model, the screen will become intensely sensitive to any form of contact. As much as a small drag of a fingernail along the phone, top to bottom, could cause major damage to both the screen and the internals.
Date of Recovery: 10-04-201β–ˆ
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Virginia.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: The removal process almost put a hole completely through the phone… I better not see this case on anyone's phone around here, consensual or not. - Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: An average USB flash drive that, when attempts are made to insert it into a computer, will always be inverted as to prevent itself from being plugged in.
Date of Recovery: 12-09-2016
Location of Recovery: Hillsborough County Library, Florida
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: The website, "whatwouldhappenifiwasshot.β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ". When accessed, it generates an accurate 3D model of the user, which can then be "shot" by clicking on any part of the body.
Date of Recovery: 07-01-2017
Location of Recovery: N/A. Discovered following a Reddit post on the "todayilearned" sub-forum.
Current Status: Domain blocked from all major internet service providers.

Item Description: A rubber ball, 5 cm in diameter, that slowly rolls toward the closest living human. Running it through a metal detector showed no signs of electronic parts.
Date of Recovery: 07-02-2017
Location of Recovery: The break room, rolling around the feet of annoyed personnel.
Current Status: In a small glass container, duct-taped to Dr. Rob's desk.

Item Description: 30 black baseball hats. When a human puts on one of the hats, the logo of their least favorite Major League Baseball (MLB) team will appear on the front. If the wearer does not possess any knowledge of the MLB, the hat will remain blank.
Date of Recovery: 07-β–ˆβ–ˆ-2017
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, New York, USA
Current Status: One hat was incinerated, no anomalous properties found in remains. The other 29 hats are in the Site-19 lounge.
Notes: Why does no one here know about the MLB? - Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Removed for not adding anything.

Item Description: A mouse pad that renders any computer mouse useless.
Date of Recovery: 1-15-20β–ˆβ–ˆ
Location of recovery: Stock Exchange Office, New York
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: No matter how funny you think it would be, do not replace another researcher's mouse pad with this. - Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A sewer grate that appears to be invisible in any photo taken on a digital camera.
Date of Recovery: 8-10-2017
Location of Recovery: Kyoto, Japan
Current Status: Under surveillance

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A nuclear warhead that constantly plays dubstep. The songs are original to the warhead and played at 95 dB.
Date of Recovery: 05-24-2011
Current Status: Installed as Site-25 on-site nuclear safeguard.
Note: Before containment, a number of songs produced were released online crediting "DJ Dirty Nuke" as their creator. We would like to speak with whoever is responsible for their release, but the songs themselves need no containment. β€” Dr. Wall

Item Description: A grey suitcase. Results of X-ray imaging will indicate that illegal contraband exists within its compartments, despite any not physically existing.
Date of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/2017
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ , Canada
Current Status: In storage within Site-β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ.

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A small grey blanket with red and blue stripes. Despite the soft appearance, it feels like standard-issue sandpaper.
Date of Recovery: 05-02-2014
Location of Recovery: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Canada
Current Status: Inside the office of Dr. Quinton In Site-73 storage.
Notes: D-7295 used this as a weapon to injure several researchers during low-level containment breach, requesting to move item to Site-73 storage. - Dr. Quinton

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A standard dinner fork that when used will cause whatever it has been stabbed into to change transform into medium-rare cooked steak.
Date of Recovery: 7/26/17
Location of Recovery: Tampa, Florida
Current Status: In Area-108 standard storage locker.
Notes: During a low-level containment breach caused by the Chaos Insurgency, item was taken out of containment by an escaped Class-D and used on several agents. Class-D was terminated and item returned to storage.

Item Description: An acoustic guitar that will play any song, with vocals in Kurt Donald Cobain's voice.
Date of Recovery: 4/5/94
Location of Recovery: Seattle, Washington
Current Status: Currently in Dr. Brim's possession.
Notes: I'll be taking this to my office and keeping it secure, at least someone will enjoy the present he left us all. -Dr. Brim

Deleted for not quite doing what it sets out to do.

Item description: A youtube video made by the youtuber PopularMMOs PatVsTheWorld. When described in any sense, it will cause all text written about it to turn white.
Date of Recovery:9/30/17
Location of Recovery:N/A
Current Status:Deleted.
Damn. -Pat β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Deleted for not adding anything.

Item Description: A Teapot orbiting the sun.
Date of Recovery: 03-09-2003
Location of Recovery: Detected by the Foundation's Space Telescope β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ for observing astronomical anomalies at coordinates + β–ˆβ–ˆΒ° β–ˆβ–ˆ' β–ˆβ–ˆ'' at β–ˆ.β–ˆβ–ˆ au of distance from Earth.
Current Status: All non-foundation telescopes with capabilities of detecting the teapot are to be monitored. If the object is detected, all data about it should be deleted and class-A amnestics should be administrated to non-foundation civilians who observed the object.
Note: Sending a space mission to recover the object was deemed too costly and has been denied by the order of O5-β–ˆ.

Deleted for basically doing the same thing as the Jupiter lawnchair but not as well.

Item Description: A self-containing spatial-temporal paradox. Indescribable appearance.
Date of Recovery: All the time
Location of Recovery: Everywhere
Current Status: Not in containment, located in a standard locker.
Notes: I don't know what or when this thing is, but I think it isn't now. - Dr. Javlin

Deleted for unoriginality.

Item Description: A twelve-inch ruler that changes the length of whatever object it is measuring to exactly twelve inches. All other measurements of said object are changed proportionally.
Date of Recovery: β–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/15
Location of Recovery:β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ Middle School, β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ, Oregon
Current Status: Currently in Dr. Bright's possession In storage.
Notes: Please be advised that any researchers attempting to use this item to manipulate the length of a certain bodily extremity will be reassigned and severely reprimanded. Seriously, Bright. You're going to hurt yourself. - Dr. Brim

Deleted for lolFoundation Bright.

Item Description: Pots of paint, the pigment of which only visually stimulates the cone cells in the eye. This effect causes it to appear constantly dimly lit, and to become grey when viewed from any direction other than head-on. Further effects include headaches and eye-ache, after prolonged exposure.
Date of Recovery: 29/3/2017
Location of Recovery: Newcastle, England
Current Status: Research is underway on utilising this AO item as camouflage, and on synthesising larger amounts of the pigment. SCP-294 to be used for this purpose when free.
Notes: Interesting, this one. Somehow, the effect also works when the pigment is viewed through a photo. I've no idea how. β€” Dr. Hagemeister

Item Description: A CD with the song "Up in the Sky" by English rock band Oasis. When the line "before you start falling" plays, any objects not touching the ground in a six-meter circle around the source of the music will immediately fall to the ground at a speed of 5.4 m/s. This effect extends to the end of the atmosphere.
Date of Recovery: 7/6/2017
Location of Recovery: Creation Records warehouse, London, UK
Current Status: In storage, accessible if needed to recontain flying SCPs anomalies.

Item Description: An otherwise unknown subspecies of Pinus pumila (Siberian dwarf pine). The wood of this species functions as a superconducter, with a resistance of practically zero.
Date of Recovery: 9-13-1992
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], Siberia
Current Status: Due to the species' isolated location and low population, only minimal containment is necessary. Currently, Outpost-18 of Site-72 has been set up to monitor the only known population.

Item Description: An ornate vase, which, when observed, slightly corrupts any medium containing information about it (This effect extends to memory). Scale of corruption is proportional with duration of viewing.
Date of Recovery: 15/11/2000
Location of Recovery: Presently unidentified.
Current Status: Currently in storage, in an opaque box.
Notes: At least twenty copies of this text are to be kept at all times. On the off chance that the vase is viewed, we can piece together the entry from the fragments of each copy. β€” Dr. Hagemeister

Item Description: A small wooden cup that is instantly filled fills with sulfuric acid if anyone within a 2-meter radius pronounces the words states, "Phillip is coming over from Spain." The cup does not seem to suffer any modifications is not damaged by the substance.
Date of Recovery: 02-07-1982
Location of Recovery: Lisbon, Portugal
Current Status: In storage within Site 49.
Notes: Following a series of incidents regarding our fellow colleague Phillip's transfer from Spanish site β–ˆβ–ˆ and a significant amount of acid burns, of no one is to be allowed access to the wooden cup without explicit clearance from myself. β€” Dr. β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ

Item Description: A humanoid femur bone that renders all descriptions of it upside-down. Effect extends to human speech.
Date of Recovery: Undetermined; assumed grandfathered-in from predecessor organization.
Location of Recovery: Undetermined.
Current Status: In storage. Electronic documentation is accompanied by an AIC unit which will restate affected descriptions and thereby reverse the item's effect.
Notes: Efforts to identify how or why the item arrived in Foundation containment have been hindered by a lack of substantial documentation β€” most likely due to the absence of artificial general intelligence technology in Foundation predecessors. Current hypothesis is that the object predates human recordkeeping.

HOVER to engage automated recalibration.

Item Description: A slab of concrete engraved with the words: "Please step here on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ to prevent the apocalypse". The item itself currently possesses a higher-than-average Hume reading of β–ˆβ–ˆ.β–ˆ but has no apparent effects on outside reality.
Date of Recovery: 03/05/2005
Location of recovery: Taken from a sidewalk in Lubbock Texas.
Current Status: In storage. Plans for testing of the item on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ have been approved.

Item Description: A CD containing a copy of Elvis Nightmare, which inexplicably makes users who play it travel to the nearest temple and undergo a year of religious fulfillment.
Date of Recovery: 05/08/2014
Location of Recovery: CD recovered from the bedroom of a Vatican Priest.
Current Status: In storage.

Removed for not adding anything.

Item Description: A piece of paper. Descriptions of the item will transform the texts medium into paper. Individuals witnessing the resulting effect from this item will feel a strong urge to support the item, usually by compliments.
Date of Recovery: 5/3/2017
Location of Recovery: Site-β–ˆs main entrance zone.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: God, this data looks AMAZING. What kind of paper did you use? I love it!

Removed for unoriginality.

Remainder handled by Alces.

Item Description: A Carl Thompson Rainbow Bass. When any song of the band Primus is played, a voice is heard saying "Primus Sucks!". This effect is present regardless of whether the song was played perfectly or incomplete.
Date of Recovery: 05/02/2006
Location of Recovery: A music store in Washington D.C..
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: Primus Sucks!

Item Description: A large bathroom mirror. anyone who looks into the mirror has a strong urge to have a staring contest with their own reflection. This urge subsides once the individual blinks.
Date of Recovery: 09/09/2017
Location of Recovery: A pawn shop in Dallas, Texas.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: A cloth should be kept over the mirror to prevent the anomalous property.

Informazioni Sull'oggetto: Una ciotola di spaghetti che quando hanno visto modifiche tutte le informazioni digitate o scritto su di esso in Italiano mal formulata.
Giorno di ottenere tale oggetto: 03/01/2017
Piastra di recupero:Guam, Americani Uniti Territory.
Corrente: Mangiato.

Item Description: Thirteen Russian Matryoshka dolls that all mutually fit inside of each other.
Date of Recovery: 2/10/1923
Location of Recovery: 13 kilometers Northeast of Moscow, Russia.
Current Status: 2 were shattered by reckless researcher (reprimanded. Remains show no anomalous properties), 11 on display in Site-13's Anomalous Items wing.

Item Description: A blue backpack. When this backpack comes into contact with a human, its weight increases by approx. 379.5 kilograms. After ten minutes of contact, the weight of the backpack will slowly increase. The backpack is currently 6002.18 kg.
Date of Recovery: 18/6/2017
Location of Recovery: A community elementary school in Gale, Ohio.
Current Status: In process of being transported to Site-325.
Notes: By god, the recovery team still hasn't gotten it to the site. They've been hauling that thing from Gale to here for the past year now. Turns out automated contact still counts. β€” Junior Researcher Days

Item Description: I'm a rubber ducky! :3 I can squeak, talk, and float! :D <3
Date of Recovery: Who cares! Who wants to snuggle? ;)
Location: I was from… oh, God…
Current Status: … Well, heh, looks like… w-was dad really like that?

… I need to go lie down…


Item Description: An audio file named Bells.mp3. It plays a random song played on bells each time it is opened. Upon listening to the audio clip in its entirety, the viewer will hear that exact song heard in the clip every time a bell rings within the area it is audible to the subject. This only affects the viewer and lasts for an indefinite amount of time unless an amnesiac is administered or the subject is rendered deaf.
Date of Recovery: 4/3/2016
Location of Recovery: Recovered from a laptop in London, England
Current Status: Stored on a computer at Site-7.
Notes: Personnel who change their colleague's ringtones to the .mp3 file outside testing purposes will be reprimanded.

Item Description: A PNG file of a pair of human lungs that causes anyone who views anything related to it to forcibly breathe manually, sneeze and cough for β–ˆ hours. The effects may vary, but do not accumulate.
Date of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Location of Recovery: The computer of various citizens in β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ city, Brazil.
Current Status: Stored on a computer as
Notes: Personnel who prank others with this will be seriously reprimanded.

Item Description: A soda can. Analysis indicates that the ratio of the circumference of its bases to the diameter of its bases (i.e., the value of pi Otherwise known as the value of Pi) is roughly equal to 4.282983.
Date of Recovery: 2017-09-19
Location of Recovery: Nishinomiya, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A VHS tape with a recording of the music video for "Once in a Lifetime" by the band Talking Heads. The segment with the repeated line "Same as it ever was" continues from timecode 1:57 for two hours of non-repeating footage, with David Byrne repeating the line and looking increasingly distraught as hands grip his head.
Date of Recovery: 17-03-1980
Location of Recovery: Chicago, IL
Current Status: General media storage.
Notes: Crew who worked on the original filming were interviewed. They all agree that no extra footage of this segment was shot.

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